Five years from now:

Apple spokesman claims reports that eye-tracking Accessibility feature usage was sold ‘exaggerated’

A spokesman for Apple dismissed reports that the company’s eye-tracking accessibility feature—designed assist impaired users with using their device by detecting eye movements—was also tracking their interest in potentially sensitive topics and selling the data to advertising partners and law enforcement agencies, calling the allegations “grossly exaggerated” and stating “the term ‘sell’ demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of the structure of Apple’s partnership agreements as detailed in the Terms of Service”. Whistleblowers claim the software runs constantly even when not enabled, and allegedly checks reading speed and pupil dilation to gauge interest in products and services, but also in “sensitive topics”. According to data mined by researchers from the University of [Blue State], this allegedly includes topics such as race relations and white supremacy, protesting and civil disobedience, firearm ownership, industrial sabotage, anti-corporate activism, abortion, environmentalism, police brutality, and political movements. Apple declined to comment further after the conclusion of their press release.

Sharknado isn’t fun. Being a bad movie on purpose is just cringeworthy. Bad movies are fun when they’re a serious (delusional) effort that failed miserably.

Baked beans are very popular in America, but they’re different. We have a sweet tooth, as evidenced by the fact that marmalade is very sweet here. Our baked beans are usually flavored with brown sugar, molasses, or maple syrup; spices like cayenne pepper, ground mustard seed, or tomato paste; and frequently with ham or bacon as well. They’re usually navy beans, though some people prefer pinto beans or black beans. Baked beans are served as a side dish at lunch or supper, and lots of people like to have cornbread or rolls/baps when there are beans so they can soak up the sauce, which is regionally called “pot liquor”.

Heinz beans are something you can only get in the British section of the “World Foods” aisle in grocery stores, and they’re not popular here. Partly because people only stop at that section to buy all the Jaffa Cakes and Yorkie bars before I can, and partly because as near as I can tell Heinz beans are flavored using the same principle as homeopathy, diluting one drop of tomato sauce into a gallon of water and repeating the dilution 50 times before adding 1 ml of it to the beans.

Skill issue

That’s still an advertisement. It’s an advertisement for something you’re already using to encourage you to use more features of it so they can get analytic data from your usage patterns.

Bravecels are all the same, maybe they get two extra shitcoins every time they shill for it.

^ This statement is an outright admission that they’re right.

“AI’s idea of what constitutes a human face is the kind of face most frequently considered human by AI”

I wish I could feel anything as strongly as the amount Bandai Namco hates it when people play Taiko no Tatsujin. Especially the arcade machines, I feel like they’d lay down their lives rather than allow a Taiko machine to reach American soil.

Say “go fuck yourself lul” into the mirror to save yourself some time.

/b/ took a big shit in summer 2007 and hasn’t been anywhere near as good since then, and it wasn’t even good before then. The rest of the site, especially the smaller SFW boards, has decent content if you know where to look. /po/ is one of the best places online for papercrafting and origami, for example

This man is in desperate need of both tar and feathers

Imb4 astroturfers start whining about how the finewoven case works just fine for them and this is all very entitled really and then make a #lowsodiumfinewoven hashtag on twitter to talk about how great the cases are

Broke: T-Mobile denies new data breach rumors, points to authorized retailer

Woke: T-Mobile denies new penetration rumors, fingers authorized retailer

Well what else are they going to do, cause the Osborne effect on purpose while they’re still trying to move units?

Amazing. Bold. Courageous. Disruptive. Exceptional.

The all-new iCloth, just $38.99.

Oh and look, The Verge already has a review out:

The iCloth promises superior cleaning with a premium look and feel. While the iCloth failed to fully remove a single smudged fingerprint from our test model iPhone 15 Pro Max despite the application of an entire liter of Windex, we feel it delivers on its promise due to the premium look and feel of this one-of-a-kind accessory. A bargain at only twice the price of the identical earlier model, the iCloth comes in a whole spectrum of one dazzling color and offers a stylish device care option with premium look and feel. In addition, the accessory is very smart-looking in this posed photograph where I pretend to use it on my Apple Watch, showing off its premium look and feel. All in all, this is the smart device cloth for an enlightened consumer. Also it has premium look and feel.

Usability: 3/10
Premium look and feel: 10/10
Overall score: 9001/10

The point is to use messaging apps as a data collection vector. Once they hit user saturation, they shut it down. That’s what all their product shutdowns are about: they run out of useful analytics.

Bad news for the 3 or 4 people out there who didn’t just use the package manager to install everything.

I wish it was a Souls game. I don’t want to help people, I want to invade their game and kill them for their 1-ups.

Lies about what this is created for:

• monitoring customer responses
• scanning for ‘distressed’ women in danger

Comprehensive list of all things this is created for:

• ads
• demoralization
• identifying, stalking, and punishing malcontents
• stalking prospective rape victims